One of my readers had an interesting question. He showed me a few articles written from some popular dating coaches about how to tease women, which talked a lot about how teasing is “super important” and how it’s the “main form of flirting” and how you absolutely NEED to be good at it or else women will only see you as a friend. Then, he asked me what I thought. How important is it really to tease women?

For what it’s worth, I disagree with those coaches.

Teasing women is not as important as they make it out to be. I’ve never been really good at it and I’ve still been able to date women and get into relationships. If you’ve been reading my stuff for a while, you’ll know that I’m more of a kind, gentle, quiet person. It’s just not in my personality to tease women as I talk to them.

I think a lot of dating coaches recommend teasing for a couple reasons. First, it’s authentic to their personality. They can tease women while still being themselves, whereas if I tease women then I feel like an actor putting on a performance.

Second, teasing can appear to work as a “quick-fix” for someone who has no luck with women. If you memorize a few pickup lines and go to a bar or club, you probably could get yourself laid with a little bit of effort. I mean…you probably won’t get a girlfriend that way, but you could get a make out session or one-night stand. And it’s easy for dating coaches to point at those results and say “See? Teasing works!”

The best way to interact with women is to be your best authentic self. Be the version of you that your friends and loved ones enjoy being around. If you’re able to tease women while still being true to your personality, then go right ahead. But if not, then don’t worry about it. Teasing is not the end-all-be-all, and trying to act like something you’re not might get you casual sex or a few dates but it’s definitely not the foundation for a good relationship.

That’s my $0.02.