Back when I was first looking for love, I always wished that I could be more confident. I believed that if only I were more confident, I would go right up to a woman I was interested in and just start talking to her. No second guessing myself.

However, I’d always find some way of talking myself out of it. “She probably already has a boyfriend” I’d tell myself. If there was a woman that I had a crush on, I would say to myself “I’m going to do it today when I see her. I’m going to ask her out” and then I would chicken out. “On second thought I’ll ask her out tomorrow instead,” I’d tell myself. And then tomorrow would come and I’d say the same thing the next day. And the next. And the next.

How do you become more confident? Especially if you haven’t had a lot of success with women before?

Continue reading Three ways I unknowingly lowered my confidence around women →

Note: This article was originally published on sosuave.com

Let’s talk about confidence.

Women always say that they love confidence in guys. As I was growing up, it always felt like women would always go for the guys who were more confident and outgoing. Whenever I had a crush on someone, most of the time I would be too scared to ask her out. My mind would tell me things like “she probably already has a boyfriend,” and if I did try to talk to her then I would become super awkward and would barely even be able to say anything.

This makes it especially difficult because as men, we’re the ones who are expected to be the initiators when it comes to dating. It’s up to us to take the first step and ask her out, to go for the first kiss, to ask her to be exclusive, to say the first “I love you”, and so on. And this can mean having to step way, way out of your comfort zone. How are we supposed to be confident when it comes to dating, then?

I’m not going to give you some generic advice such as “fake it until you make it” or “just be confident.” You’ve probably already heard that enough times already. Instead, I’m going to show you the three steps that I used to finally become confident around women.

Continue reading Become more confident in three simple steps →

Let’s talk about confidence.

As I was growing up, it always felt like women liked the guys who were more confident and outgoing. Whenever I had a crush on someone, most of the time I would be too scared to ask her out. My mind would tell me things like “she probably already has a boyfriend,” and if I did try to talk to her then I would become super awkward and would barely even be able to say anything. The one piece of advice I heard over and over again for being confident was to “fake it until you make it” but that never helped me at all.

This makes it especially difficult because as we’re the ones who are expected to be the initiators when it comes to dating. It’s up to us to take the first step and ask her out, to go for the first kiss, to ask her to be exclusive, to say the first “I love you”, and so on. This means that we’re the ones who risk being rejected or shot down.

How are we supposed to be confident in the first place if we don’t have much (or any) dating experience to begin with? It’s easier to be confident if you’ve had girlfriends in the past before or if you often go on a lot of dates. But what about those of us who don’t have any of that experience to begin with?

Here’s a quick trick I would use in order to make myself more confident. If there was a woman that I wanted to talk to, I would say this one sentence to myself:

Continue reading Become more confident with women in under 30 seconds →