Derek Chauvin was just found guilty. You know, the guy that knelt on George Floyd’s neck for almost 10 minutes until he died.

I feel a lot of emotions right now. Relief. Happiness. Sadness.

Like, a part of me is happy that he was convicted because of course he was guilty. And I’m relieved that justice was served in this particular instance. But I’m also sad that this even happened in the first place, and I still recognize that we have a long way to go.

Here’s what Derek Chauvin’s conviction means for us…

Continue reading Derek Chauvin found guilty and what that means for us →

I’ve written a string of articles speaking out against some of the injustices in the world—including my most recent one about hate crimes against Asians—and the overwhelming consensus from everyone who responded is that…well…

Everything is broken.

(Also, to everyone who took the time to respond to my newsletters with your own thoughts, I appreciate your responses and I do read every message. Thank you! Even to that one guy who wrote back just to call me an idiot.)

It certainly feels like everything is broken sometimes. I wish that I had some sort of quick fix that would solve everything and make the world a fair and just place to live in. But I don’t, and we’re still a far cry away from achieving that sort of world.

So, if you’ve ever felt as desolate or hopeless about the state of the world as I have, I’d like to tell you what helps keep me going.

We live in this thing called a “society” which has two important things to note.

First, it keeps us safe and warm from nature. How safe and how warm is another question that depends heavily on factors such as socioeconomic status, etc…but it keeps us warm and safe compared to when we were hunter-gatherers.

And second, it’s a work in progress. Many of the injustices that are built into the system, such as economic inequality, climate change, etc. exist not out of maliciousness but because society is just this thing that we slapped together using duct tape to keep us safe from the uncaring forces of nature.

We didn’t have the luxury of building “Society version 1.0” on a supercomputer before we launched it. Instead, we hurriedly cobbled together version 0.1 in a cave with a box of scraps so that the wolves wouldn’t eat us. That’s where we are right now.

That means it’s something that can still be improved and it’s going to be improved…but only if people such as you and I accept it as our moral and ethical responsibility to do so. To uproot evil and to help good take root however we can. That’s how we’ll finally achieve “Society version 1.0”.

Here’s a few ways you can help keep up the good fight:

• Vote! Get educated in the elections happening around you—not just the big ones for President or whomever—but also the smaller, local ones and vote.
• Donate to causes that you believe in.
• Let the people around you know who you support and what you stand for.

I’m doing all three of the above, and I hope that you’ll join me in solidarity.

Remember that you have a voice and it matters!

Long time no write! I hope that you’re continuing to stay safe from COVID. If you or anybody you know has been affected by the virus, then I wish you or them a full and speedy recovery.

Yesterday, a detestable human being with despotic ambition was removed from one of the most powerful offices in the world. I’m not going to say his name. You know who I’m talking about.

it’s funny. Whenever this sort of thing happens in our favorite stories, it always involves a lone hero overcoming all odds to overthrow a tyrant–Luke Skywalker defeating Darth Vader and the Emperor, Arya Stark vanquishing the Night King, or Super Mario stomping the evil King Bowser.

That’s not how it plays out in real-life.

Instead, this real-life megalomaniac was forced out of power because of ordinary people like you and me. Our individual efforts collectively created a blue wave strong enough to put this fledgling dictator out of a job.

Feel proud of yourself? You should!

It’s not over yet, though. This aspiring autocrat came to power in part because the racists wanted to strike back after the United States elected its first black President. Here’s a few ways you can help keep up the good fight:

• Vote! Get educated in the elections happening around you—not just the big ones for President or whomever—but also the smaller, local ones and vote.
• Donate to causes that you believe in.
• Let the people around you know who you support and what you stand for.

I’m doing all three of the above, and I hope that you’ll join me.

Even if you can’t vote because of citizenship laws or whatever…even if you don’t have enough to donate…something as small as the conversations you have with the people around you create a ripple. Those ripples add up to something huge. We’ve seen proof of that yesterday.

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that your voice doesn’t matter. You have a voice, and it FUCKING matters!

On January 6, 2021, a group of insurgents attacked a nation’s capitol and tried to overthrow their democratically-elected leader.

The fact that this nation is the United States disgusts me.

It looks like some parts of the world are loosening up on quarantine restrictions. It’s nice that we’re finally starting to be able to go outside again, but I’m also worried that there may be another wave of infections if we come out of lockdown too early.

If it were up to me, we’d all continue to stay inside. And I know that’s easy for me to say since I’m already married and have someone to be holed up inside with. But I’m going to say it anyway.

Just…stay safe, okay? Keep washing your hands whenever you go outside. Limit contact with people you don’t know. And make sure you’ve got something covering your nose and mouth. I’d hate to learn that any of my readers got sick.

Be careful out there!

Holy cow, Coronavirus sucks!

You’ve probably already heard how important it is to stay inside and to practice social distancing. Hopefully I don’t need to remind you how to do that.

Here’s how I’m coping with my newfound case of cabin fever.

Continue reading Coronavirus and wishing upon a star →

If there’s one thing my friends seem to enjoy doing too much of, it’s giving me crap about the fact that I love playing old Nintendo games instead of more “serious” games like Fortnite or PUBG. The reason why is that I always found those old Super Mario games therapeutic…

…while those shooter games have a way of making me rage and wanting to throw my controller at the screen. Every time I get killed, I start yelling at the game like…

“WHY!? Why did that kill me?”

…and then I come up with a million reasons—other than the fact that I suck—as to why I got killed.

• Was my opponent probably cheating? Yep!
• Does he have better skills than I do? Nope.
• Was it probably the lag that got me killed? Yep!
• Is it possible that my opponent had a better strategy? Nope.

And that’s why I play Mario instead of Fortnite.

This sort of behavior is relatively harmless (and mildly amusing) when it comes to video gaming. When it comes to other areas of our lives, though, mindsets like these can often hold us back in very real ways.

Continue reading And that’s why I play Super Mario instead of Fortnite →

Looking back on 2019, one of the biggest accomplishments I’m proud of this year is making a career change into my dream industry (yep, I work a full-time job just like everybody else). This is something that I’ve wanted to do for the past few years, but I’ve never gotten around to actually doing it.

It was always one of those “important, not urgent” things in the back of my mind. The fancy scientific term for this is cognitive dissonance—basically, that uncomfortable feeling you get when you’re doing something you know you shouldn’t (or when you’re not doing something you know you should.)

An example of cognitive dissonance that we can all relate to is eating a bag of potato chips even though you “know” it’s unhealthy. Whenever I do this, I always end up telling myself things such as:

• “Ah, it’s just one bag of potato chips”
• “I don’t eat potato chips that often anyway”
• “I’ll work it off later”

Take a wild guess at how many times I’ve actually “worked off” a bag of potato chips after eating it.

Zero?

Yep, that’s correct.

Sure, it’s easy to identify this sort of self-defeating self-talk when someone else says it. But how many of us are guilty of sabotaging ourselves through our own self-talk, especially around women?

Continue reading Potato chips and life lessons →

It’s been a while since my last article, huh? Looks like the last time I’ve written something was…let me check…

…back in October 16, 2019…

Welp.

As per Quietly Romantic tradition, anytime I go too long without publishing something new, I get to post something embarrassing about myself. So, here’s a picture of me eating sushi that has WAY too much wasabi on it:

Yep, that’s me getting my butt kicked by a dead fish. I’m sure I’ll sleep well tonight knowing that a picture of myself literally crying now exists on the internet.

I’m unapologetic about the fact that I’m a crier, and the idea that men can be emotionally sensitive is an example of something that I’d love to see talked about more in today’s world. There are a lot of men’s issues in the world that deserve much more attention than they currently get. On that note, here are a few links to people doing a beautiful job of talking about these issues.

Continue reading That one time a dead fish kicked my butt →